The Things We Say


Varun: Here, can you rub this sunscreen on me?
Me: Um, I guess. But with your complexion, is it even moral to put sunscreen on? Don’t you feel like you’re robbing the universe of sunscreen?
Varun: Nope.
(pause)
Varun: (singing) Baby, I am brown, brown, brown, brown, bro—-wnnnn!

(He was referencing this song, Down. I find this video amusing on two counts: 1. There are flashes of light coming from the singer’s hands and someone’s drink, 2. He tells the girl, “No need to worry/you’ll be my only” as he checks out and dances with myriad girls.)(I would describe this as moderately sketchy and not necessary to watch)

Yesterday, Varun and I were waiting in line at the Canadian border.
Me: Okay, I have an idea. Let’s code behavior and make a spreadsheet and do a study to find out who’s meaner, the US guards or the Canadian ones.
Varun: Um. We don’t need to do a study. It’s easy: Canada’s nicer.

(30 seconds later, at the border)
Canadian Border Officer: How long were you gone?
Me: 4 Days…
CBO: 4? It says here August 4th.
Me: Oh. Um okay, 3 days. I guess it felt like 4.
CBO: 3, 4. It doesn’t matter. Any alcohol with you?
Me: Yes. A bottle of whipped cream with alcohol in it.
CBO: HA! They make that?
Me: Oh yes, in America they do.
CBO: You guys are drunks! You can’t even have a Sundae without booze in it? HA HA
Me: (BLUSHING PROFUSELY)
Varun: (Looking at me like I’m about to get him deported)
CBO: Okay, well, enjoy.
(We drive off)
Me: We should have offered him some.

But seriously, people. What an invention! Mad thanks to a certain someone who lives in the great state of Hawaii where such things are sold.

Sundaes, anyone?!

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joanna
    Aug 08, 2011 @ 16:54:57

    “Canadians may be nice but we have spiked whipped cream” -me and Josh

    Reply

  2. marriage books
    Aug 09, 2011 @ 01:19:52

    It is never easy to accept and own the mistakes and saying sorry. The ego gets hurt and people tend to think that after saying sorry the other partner will gain an upper hand. Just by simply acknowledging the error or a mistake can resolve fifty percent of the conflicts. Most of the people who have a stable and successful are very up-front in their relationship and never hesitate to say sorry.

    Reply

  3. Mindy
    Aug 09, 2011 @ 12:31:39

    BAHAHAHA!!!

    Reply

  4. Team Oyeniyi
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 04:33:47

    Another way to encourage kids to drink, if you ask me! We’ve been having a big fight over here about the “pop” alcohol and taxing the hell out of it to prevent kids drinking it.

    Love the border guard’s attitude though! :)

    Reply

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