How To Keep a Beautifully Clean House

Okay, I lied. If you clicked on this title hoping for the answer, you’re going to be disappointed. This is more of a “How To Not…”

Me: Varun, I need something to blog about. Help me think of a topic. Like, what do I care about? Ooooh. What do I rant about?

Varun: Oh haha, buddy! You rant about lots of things. Most things. Pick anything.

And there you have it: another moment of revelation whilst brushing my teeth. Except before I had time to brainstorm, I saw this.

The curtains in our bedroom

I know. It hurts my heart too. The uneven ties, the falling rod, the curtains that slide to the left more times than I can slide them back in a given day.

And so I’ve stumbled upon my rant: getting stuff done. Varun loves to tell people that my name, Amelia, means “Industrious”. And it does (Nothing says “I have Germanic roots” like a name that could describe a BMW factory…). Most days, I’m pretty industrious. I’m disciplined about exercise, schoolwork, eating healthy foods and getting things done in advance. Except anything cleaning/housework related.

Example A:

A few months ago I was driving across the US border and the snoopy border guard said,

BG: So, you exported this car from the USA?

Me: Yes. Um, how’d you know that? (Thinking his computer is super fancy)

BG: You still have your registration tags on your windshield.

Me: Oh, haha. Sorry.

BG: They’re from last year. Why haven’t you taken them off yet?

Me: (In my head: Have you seen my closets, buddy? One year is nothing in Amelia To-D0 List Time….)

So what is my deal? How am I capable of making homemade tomato sauce and planting basil from seed and yet am completely unwilling (unable?) to organize my closets and clean out my trunk?

You know what keeps those curtains crooked? My fear of the futile. We’ve moved so many times that I think I’m just afraid to care. If I spend the afternoon baking cookies, I expect them to be gone in three hours days. And that’s okay. But when I hang pictures, I’m haunted by the thought that we’ll just move again. Also, our walls are concrete. It takes a hammer drill and some serious strength to get a screw in. And do you know what a pain it is to hang pictures on screws? You have to rig up your own little hooky thingy.

And here’s my other problem with the whole organized/housework thing. I love spending time with people. And so does Varun. Like yesterday, I was going to deal with the Pile O’ Junk next to my dresser. But then a friend texted to ask if I could help out. And then I visited a neighbor. And then we had an impromptu dinner with a friend. And then went to another friend’s house and sipped Freezies/Push-up-pops/Chuski’s and talked about life. And then it was 11 pm and I was totally over the desire to clean. My point is, housework just always falls to the bottom of the list because I don’t mind much, Varun doesn’t mind much and we still don’t have domestic help. (Whooooa Nelly. Don’t judge. Read the link)

Okay, this is my last problem. Things don’t stay organized. I guess because it’s not a priority for me, or because my brain can’t think in boxes, but I have no problem ditching my systems. Maybe I’m too flexible? Or is this what they mean when they say “lazy”?

Anyway. I have two points here. The first is, I think we can all agree that’s there’s way too much guilt and stress going around. So I’m joining Jessi at Naptime Diaries and giving up some good. Not that hanging pictures and scrubbing the bathtub doesn’t need to be done. Trust me, it does. But I’m just gonna chill out a bit on this one. Yup, you heard me: I am dealing with my lack of motivation by choosing to care less. HUZZAH.

You know the whole thing about not airing your dirty laundry….Well, Hello, Internet! (To be fair, this was after being gone for two weeks….)

But, just in case I feel motivated: HELP! Any thoughts on how to have a DIY/Pintrest-worthy house when neither you or your spouse/roommate/Mom/hamster care much?

*To my Man Blog Readers: Let’s be real here, this is not a “ladies” issue. Any thoughts or advice is totally appreciated!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tim Chan
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 02:37:12

    I completely agree with the fear of the futile. When I was single, in the span of 8 years I moved 16 times. It doesn’t make sense to organize things when you know you’ll move soon. But when Olive and I got our own place, I found that over time, things became more and more organized. I think we were more motivated because we knew that this would be our home for a while (it’s been 4 years so far!)


  2. Trackback: Stop Reading This and Go Watch Downton Abbey « ESL Marriage

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